Personal Reflections: Frustration, Overwork, and Strained Family Dynamics
Balancing Too Many Roles
My wife thinks only about shopping. Inaal abuk. The kids have been without a routine for a month, and now she’s trying to take from me what little I have left. I’ve been running nonstop since we arrived. I bought a car, rented an apartment, got the internet and phone connected, arranged insurance, opened a bank account, went grocery shopping, registered for services, presented the bill of sale for the car, got a license plate, went to the bank again, got a cashier’s check, and on and on it goes.
All of this after opening a Wise account to transfer way too much money from occupied Palestine to a Canadian bank account. Then I drove to pick up the Ford – you won’t find a single Ford in all of Palestine. And now what? Now I’m supposed to be the one cooking meals and taking care of the kids?
She bought them a game, and she gave them buns. The kids are always hungry. Meanwhile, she shops from morning till night, hauling self-assembly furniture. She insists on putting it together herself, depriving herself and the kids of precious time together – all to save a few dollars. Tfoo.
Practical Tips: Managing Family Responsibilities and Household Stress
- Divide Household Responsibilities
Moving to a new country often means a mountain of tasks, but trying to handle everything alone can lead to burnout. Sit down with your partner and divide responsibilities. For example, one of you handles shopping while the other manages cooking and childcare. - Set Realistic Expectations for Your Partner and Yourself
The transition can amplify frustrations, but it’s important to recognize the stress both of you are under. Approach the situation with understanding and work together to prioritize tasks that truly need immediate attention versus those that can wait. - Simplify Meal Planning
With kids always hungry and time stretched thin, opt for simple, nutritious meals that are easy to prepare. Stock up on ready-made staples, such as frozen vegetables, pasta, or pre-cooked proteins, to reduce stress while ensuring the family eats well. - Balance Practicality with Connection
Self-assembly furniture and bargain shopping can save money, but at what cost? Time spent with family is invaluable during transitions. Encourage prioritizing moments with the kids over saving a few dollars – sometimes investing in a service or taking shortcuts can improve overall family well-being. - Create a Temporary Routine for the Kids
Children thrive on structure, even during major changes. Establish a loose schedule that includes regular meals, playtime, and family activities to give them a sense of normalcy and stability amid the chaos.
Immigration isn’t just about setting up a new life; it’s about finding balance in the chaos. Between managing household responsibilities, keeping the kids fed and happy, and staying connected as a family, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. But with communication, planning, and a little flexibility, it’s possible to lighten the load and focus on building a life together.
Written by Wa Alikum Salam, Immigrant.
