Personal Reflections: Shopping, Family, and the Weight of Displacement
December 2024
I don’t want to write, but I can’t find anything else worth doing. The kids have been glued to the television for two hours, my wife has disappeared into her phone again – God knows where or why. She’ll come back, though. She always does. And when she does, she’ll ignore the fact that I’m writing and instead pile more frustrations on top of the ones I’m already carrying.
Walmart refuses to approve our online orders. The credit card is fine, there’s money in the account, and when I visit the store in person, I leave with the merchandise. But their online system? It refuses to acknowledge my existence here.
The kids want food, they want sleds, they want to build a snowman – but we’re stuck, buried in the mud of endless shopping. My wife, overwhelmed and defeated, is dragging us all down with her. I can’t bear to hear the name IKEA. Costco sends a shiver through me. Walmart makes me nauseous. Even the colors of these places seem to softly hammer at my temples.
And now, for the first time, I’ve locked myself in a room to write during these beautiful evening hours, during family time. And you know what? The world keeps turning. The kids are in their own world, and they seem happy enough. Maybe I’m the problem here.
Practical Tips: Managing Family Dynamics and Stress During the Transition
- Take Breaks from the Noise of Consumerism
Moving to a new country often requires a shopping spree for essentials, but the constant exposure to big-box stores and endless purchases can be overwhelming. Set limits on how much time and energy you devote to shopping each week. Breaks from the chaos are necessary for your mental health. - Engage in Family Activities Amidst the Chaos
Even when overwhelmed, carve out time for the simple joys your children crave. Building a snowman or sledding together can provide a much-needed reset for the whole family and strengthen your bond during this stressful transition. - Address Online Shopping Challenges
Issues with online systems, like Walmart’s refusal to process orders, may stem from address mismatches or banking verifications. Call customer service for clarification and consider using local delivery services or smaller stores as alternatives. - Communicate with Your Partner
Migration is stressful for everyone, and your wife’s struggles may reflect her own feelings of displacement and overwhelm. Open conversations, without blame, can help both of you navigate this period together and feel supported rather than isolated. - Permit Yourself to Recharge
Locking yourself in a room to write isn’t a betrayal of your family; it’s an act of self-preservation. Moments of solitude allow you to process the challenges and regain the energy needed to support your loved ones.
Immigration is a test of endurance – not just physically, but emotionally. Between the frustrations of adapting to a new system and the strain of keeping a family afloat, it’s easy to lose sight of the small victories. But even during the chaos, remember to pause, breathe, and remind yourself that these struggles are part of the process of building something new.
Written by Wa Alikum Salam, Immigrant.
