Caught Between Productivity and Guilt
“If only I could disappear into work without guilt.”
This thought echoes in my mind as I attempt to carve out a space for myself. A space for work, for progress, for something that feels like achievement. But guilt, heavy and persistent, pulls me back to reality—back to my children’s boredom, their endless demands, and my inability to meet them all.
The Screen-and-Sweets Cycle
I want to wake them early, to spark their curiosity, to show them a world filled with wonder. But their mornings start late, their hands reach for sweets, and their eyes are fixed on screens. When I finally retreat to my office downstairs, ready to dive into work, they appear with a ball in hand, ready to play.
It’s a cycle that repeats itself: the push for productivity is interrupted by the pull of parenting.
Life’s Paradox: The Attempt to Be Busy
Maybe this is life’s paradox—the constant attempt to be busy. We strive to create, to build, to achieve, but life interrupts with its unrelenting demands. My children, with their endless energy and competing wills, remind me that life doesn’t wait for work to be done.
And perhaps that’s the lesson: it’s not about finding balance but embracing the imbalance.
Lessons from the Push and Pull
- Reframe Interruptions: Life’s interruptions, like a ball tossed into your lap, might be the moments that matter most.
- Presence Over Perfection: It’s okay to miss a deadline, but don’t miss the fleeting opportunities to connect with your children.
- Redefine Productivity: Progress isn’t always measured in finished tasks; sometimes, it’s measured in shared smiles.
A New Way Forward
I’ll still try to retreat to my office, to write, to work, to create. But I’ll also try to see the value in the ball they bring, the questions they ask, the sweet and simple moments of connection.
Maybe the paradox of work and family isn’t meant to be solved—it’s meant to be lived.
Juggling work and family isn’t about finding the perfect balance—it’s about embracing the beautiful chaos of life. Immigration adds its own layer of complexity, but every step taken is an opportunity to grow, connect, and redefine what truly matters. Learn more about navigating the challenges of work, family, and immigration at Holygration.
Written by Wa Alikum Salam, Immigrant.