Personal Reflections: A Father’s Role in a New World
Immigrating to a new country is a monumental shift, not just for individuals but for families. For fathers, the transition carries unique challenges and opportunities. As I reflect on my journey, I see parallels between the role of a father and the process of immigration. Both require movement—physical, emotional, and mental. Both demand growth, resilience, and the ability to rise above the fleeting troubles of daily life.
For a long time, I’ve struggled with my relationship with my parents, feeling distant and disconnected. Now, as a father, I see echoes of that struggle in my own role. Fatherhood isn’t something you’re born knowing—it’s a role you take on, one that demands preparation and presence. And yet, no one teaches us how to be fathers. Society overlooks this sacred responsibility, leaving us to navigate it alone.
The Challenges of Fatherhood in Immigration
1. Balancing Stability and Change
In the chaos of immigration, fathers often feel the weight of providing stability for their families while adapting to new surroundings. The pressure to succeed in a foreign environment can feel overwhelming, but it’s also an opportunity to model resilience for your children.
2. Navigating Emotional Transitions
Fatherhood is about moving between moods and states of mind, just as immigration involves transitioning between cultures and identities. It’s okay to feel out of control at times, but it’s essential to rise above those moments and guide your family with clarity.
3. Staying Present Amidst the Noise
Between the logistical demands of settling in a new place and the emotional toll of leaving the familiar, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most. Fatherhood calls us back to the present—to our children, our partners, and the small acts of connection that ground us.
Practical Insights for Fathers in Transition
1. Build a Routine That Grounds Your Family
In the uncertainty of immigration, routines provide a sense of stability. Whether it’s shared meals, bedtime stories, or weekend outings, these small rituals create a foundation of security for your children.
2. Prioritize Open Communication
Your children may struggle to express their feelings about the move. Be patient and encourage them to share their thoughts. Let them see that you’re navigating challenges too, and that it’s okay to feel conflicted.
3. Embrace Your Role as a Guide
Your family looks to you for guidance, but that doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers. Show them that it’s okay to learn, adapt, and ask for help. Lead with humility and curiosity.
4. Find Support for Yourself
Fathers often shoulder the emotional burden of their families without seeking support. Whether through friends, community groups, or professional help, find spaces where you can share your own struggles and recharge.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
Amid the challenges of immigration, celebrate the moments when things go right—your child’s first friend in a new school, the first time you navigate a new city without getting lost, or simply a shared laugh at the end of a long day.
Fatherhood and Immigration: Moving Toward the Eternal
In Hebrew, the word IVRIT comes from the root A.V.R, signifying movement. Fatherhood and immigration both embody this idea—moving from one place, one state of mind, to another. They call us to rise above temporary troubles and connect with something eternal.
As fathers, we’re tasked with creating continuity, not just for our families but for ourselves. We must balance the demands of the present with the legacy we hope to leave behind. And while the path may be uncertain, every step forward—every small act of love, resilience, and guidance—brings us closer to the life we envision.
Rise above. Move forward. Be the father your children need, and let them see that in the face of change, you chose connection, courage, and love.
Written by Wa Alikum Salam, Immigrant.