Personal Reflections: The Emotional Weight of Immigration and Parenting
November 26, 2024, 23:09
You can work without enlightenment. True, it’s not the same, but you can’t burn yourself out completely without the fuel of purpose. There’s a limit to how high-functioning someone can be. Most days, waking up in the morning and grabbing a cup of coffee – that liquid unfit for human consumption that we’re all addicted to – is enough to keep moving.
Maybe there will be a ceasefire soon. For a moment, we panicked, thinking they’d take away our cursed right to stay in Canada. For almost two weeks now we’ve been staying with my wife’s family friends in Ontario. Good people, but two more days, and we’re moving on – to Calgary, to the final destination. I’m afraid we’ll meet the same enemies there. Afraid of stagnation, of failure. We won’t go back. Not yet. Not until we complete the mission.
The children are healthy, whole, happy, and functioning. Optimistic, too – loving, though the loving part we’ll have to work on ourselves. On me. I’ve been making too many comments to my oldest since we’ve been here. He’s growing, discovering himself, and I… I’m still holding on to my sweet baby boy. It’s hard to let go of what he was.
The younger one, meanwhile, got hit hard playing with other kids. My heart jumped, fear overtaking me for a second. Raising kids is exhausting, but raising them while living in someone else’s crowded house is almost unbearable. The noise, the tension, the space that isn’t yours. Sometimes it’s easier to suffer in silence than ask for a favor, even a small one.
And me? I’m tired of being a burden. Tired of trying to make everyone laugh.
Practical Tips: Balancing Family Needs and Emotional Well-Being During Migration
- Accept Temporary Discomfort as Part of the Journey
Sharing a home with others during migration is rarely easy, especially with children. Acknowledge the temporary nature of the situation and focus on the long-term benefits of starting fresh. Patience and perspective can help ease the tension of crowded spaces. - Create Space for Emotional Connection with Your Children
Migration can heighten the challenges of parenting, especially when children are adjusting to a new environment. Take time to connect with your kids emotionally, offering reassurance and understanding as they adapt. Be mindful of how your own stress may impact them. - Set Clear Milestones for the Journey
Breaking the process into manageable stages – from temporary housing to your final destination – can help reduce feelings of uncertainty. Celebrate small wins, such as securing permanent housing or completing essential paperwork, to keep yourself motivated. - Lean on Your Support System
Don’t shy away from asking for help when you need it. Family friends or local communities can provide support, whether it’s watching the kids for an hour or offering advice on the next steps in your migration journey. Remember, you’re not alone. - Focus on Self-Care
The emotional strain of migration can be overwhelming. Carve out moments for yourself, even if it’s just a quiet walk or journaling your thoughts. These small acts of self-care can help you stay grounded during times of uncertainty.
Immigration isn’t just a physical relocation; it’s a test of emotional resilience and adaptability. From crowded homes to quiet fears, the journey challenges every part of you. Yet, within the chaos lies an opportunity to grow – as a parent, as a partner, and as someone building a new life from the ground up.
Written by Wa Alikum Salam, Immigrant.
